Hi Ross (I’m pretty sure you’re the only person reading this. At least until our movie wins at Sundance). First, a list. I like lists, particularly end of year ones, and I am going to start as I intend to go on… with a list. Reasons why I am doing this blog (with Ross):
1. I love the internet. I would hug it if I could. Believe me, I’ve tried a few times. The internet is like a huge patch of undeveloped real estate and everybody can have their own little plot, if they want one. I’ve never really wanted my own plot as I don’t think I’ve got anything of any use to say that anyone outside of my small circle of friends (and inside it too, no doubt) would find very interesting. There are so many blog sites on the internet that start off amidst boundless enthusiasm but soon updates become increasingly infrequent as their contributors lose interest when they realise that either they’re not going to make any money from their half-arsed ramblings and/or that nobody else is bothered. I’m not really sure who, if anyone, will read this blog but I’d quite like to read my inane ramblings in a couple of years when this whole process is hopefully successfully completed.
2. Nobody seems to want me to write about music. I’ve asked many people many times too.
3. Endeavouring to make our first feature film is probably, scratch that, undoubtedly the most daunting task I’ve ever undertaken and that’s a pretty good reason to document it. The only thing that runs it close is my driving test but as soon as that mumsy female driving examiner got in the car, I knew I was going to pass that one (we’ll gloss over the fact I failed my first test when the examiner had to grab the steering wheel). I’m also pretty certain that nothing akin to that female examiner is going to make this process any easier. I know from experience that many people consider making a feature film but never actually make the step to actually making it. If this blog ends up helping those people finally take the plunge and make a feature, then it’s probably been worthwhile. I have a sneaky feeling it might actually end up being just another thing that puts them off making a feature (if anyone other than myself and Ross ever gets round to reading it) but there’s only one way to find out.
4. I’ve not come across anyone else blogging this process extensively. There are some incredibly helpful and enlightening books on the film-making process, look no further than Chris Jones’ exhaustingly extensive ‘Guerrilla Film Makers…’ series, but these are all published after the process has long been completed and hindsight is a wonderful thing. This blog will hopefully give people an insight into the trials and pitfalls Ross and I encounter throughout the entire process, as it happens. It might also give people an insight into our respective state of mind as we travel further down this road. Of all the cliches I’ve wheeled out so far, that last sentence contains probably the worst but it’s relatively apt due to the subject matter of our script, so I’m allowed it, okay?
5. One of us is likely to go insane at some point over the next two years so this blog might help clinical psychologists discover the gradual decline that caused my/Ross’ breakdown. Plus at least one of our mates will probably find it funny.
6. Outside of music blogs, there aren’t THAT many blogs on the internet that interest me. There’s a couple of film blogs and a few friends started a blog to detail their efforts to follow a team from the very first qualifying round of the FA Cup but other than that, nothing.
7. I have some time on my hands while I’m waiting for Ross to complete the next draft of the script. This is the reason why this blog post is quite (very?) long and future ones will probably consist solely of me calling Ross a twat.
8. I’d quite like to release a book one day. Heck, I’ve never released a book before and I like doing things I’ve never done before. I also can’t be bothered to write a book so if anyone wants to compile all the posts on this blog into a book in a couple of years, feel free. Obviously, we’d need to discuss it first but it’s highly unlikely I’ll say no, just email me at the address on this blog.
9. Publicity. If we ever get to release our film (if we ever get to make our film), we’ll need as much publicity as possible. If this blog gets five people to see the film, then it’s probably been worth it. I’m not the most savvy marketeer but this is a start.
10. I was going to finish on ten as it seems like a good number but I can’t think of a tenth point. Never mind. So, that’s it. I may add to this list in future but I think it’s pretty comprehensive. If you’re reading this and you’re NOT Ross, feel free to comment and/or email me. Please remember though that making a first feature film is such a daunting prospect that I try not to think about what we’re actually attempting to do as it just makes me nervous and makes me not want to do it, so if you do contact me DO NOT mention the fact that I’m trying to make a feature film as it will only make me nervous and we’re less likely to get on. kthnxbye.
